The songs I have been listening to throughout the first 1/3 of this year have been ones ensuring how faithful God is to me & how everything He does for me is leading me into His perfect plan at the end. A lot of the lyrics encouraged me to continue my walk with God and hold steadfast to His unfailing promises. I was reminded over and over again how, while the things the world can offer me seem so sweet on the outside they are only fleeting and will wither away, the later glory and the marriage supper of the Lamb I will partake in are the only things I should fix my gaze on.
As I continue my walk with God until this point, Satan has consistently bombarded me with doubts, anxiety, and self-condemnation. He has never stopped trying to instill mistrust towards God and toward His faithfulness in my mind. But I am thankful that at every moment God spoke to me with His tender voice how I am already made beautiful, precious, and righteousness with the blood of Jesus Christ. "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8, NIV) God does not seek for perfectly blameless deeds or appearance from us--He has already loved us while we were ungodly, useless, and wicked. It is on this grace I never deserved I should put down my anchor of hope, where I should stand tall; I am to hold onto the standard of grace, not the standard of perfection.
I tried to pick parts of the lyrics that uplifted or consoled me during the endless nights I wrestled and struggled with my sin. Lyrics based on God's words can be just so powerful that singing them along just makes me praise God more and more no matter what kind of circumstance I am in. When I look back on those days and nights I am thankful to where I've come now, where God has led me to be, a place much more balanced and free from the problem of my sinfulness. Though I could not see it at first, I now know for sure God has led me out from the path of destruction I was blindly walking on. He sometimes chastises me through discipline and suffering, but praise His name that He does so all because He loves me. While I had focused so much on my image God has always been on a relentless pursuit of me and working to transform my character so that I can become more and more like Him every day. This walk I'm in may seem pointless or even self-destructive to the eyes of others, but through the test of perseverance and of getting my frequency rightly tuned in to God, I can confidently say through it all I have gotten to know God's love for me on a much deeper level. PTL! "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; character, hope." (Romans 5:3-4, NIV)
*
- Audrey Assad - You Speak
"You liberate me from my own noise and my own chaos
From the chains of the lesser law, You set me free" - Audrey Assad - Carry Me
"But You say I am blessed because of this
So I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, You'll carry me
Help me believe it" - Audrey Assad - Show Me
"So let me go like a leaf upon the water
Let me brave the wild currents flowing to the sea
And I will disappear into a deeper beauty" - Audrey Assad - Wherever You Go
"Wrestling angels till dawn breaks through
There's a blessing in the wound
and you're running, you're running from it
When all your demons are at your door
It's a soldier they're looking for
and you're running, you're running from it
...
Fathers and mothers don't always come through
but I'm never gonna stop following you
Prophets and lovers don't always hold true
but I'm never gonna stop falling for you" - Audrey Assad - No Turning Back
"I'm following behind you, beside you
I've got nothing to lose but I've got everything to find
There's something in your laughter
that keeps me running after
I'm breathing to the beat of your heart and leaving the world behind
No turning back" - Audrey Assad - O My Soul
"Don't lie to yourself, O my soul, just love your God.
...
Your worries will never love you
They'll leave you all alone
But your God will never forsake you
O my soul, my soul." - Audrey Assad - Lament
"I'm Mary and I'm Martha all at the same time
I'm sitting at his feet and I'm dying to be recognized
I'm a picture of content of content and I am dissatisfied
Why is it easy to work but hard to rest sometimes?" - Audrey Assad - Known
"And as a lover knows his beloved's heart
All the shapes and curves of her even in the dark
You have formed me in my inward parts
And You know me, You know me, yes.." - Matt Maher - Lord, I Need You
"Lord I need You, oh I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness,
Oh God, how I need You" - Merchant Band - More Than Ashes
"I'm more than what these ashes say
They will fade away when He comes for me
By grace through faith in Christ I'm saved
I am not the same when He looks at me
I am the rose, the joy for which You died
And this I know, I move You with delight
And when my heart condemns me every side
I take refuge in the truth, I am the rose to You
...
There's gonna be a wedding
It's the reason that I'm living, to marry the Lamb" - Kim Walker - I Need You More
"I need You more, more than yesterday
I need You more, more than words can say
I need You more, than ever before
I need You Lord, I need to Lord
More than the air I breathe,
More than the song I sing,
More than the next heartbeat,
More than anything" - 다윗의 장막 - 나의 갈망은 (This is my desire)
"나의 갈망은 주께서 날 알듯 (This is my desire, to know as I am known)
나도 주님을 온전히 아는 것 (To see as I am seen, to love as I am loved)
나의 갈망은 주 날 사랑하듯 (This is my desire, to give my very life)
나도 주님을 사랑하는 것 (An offering of love, a living sacrifice)
주 얼굴 보게 하소서 (Just let me see you face to face)
주 소원 알게 하소서 (that I may know You more and more)
주님의 눈에 비춰진 아름다움 보리 (To see the beauty of Your love reflected in Your eyes)
주 모든 것 주셨으니 주 형상 닮기 위하여 (All that I am, I give to You knowing You've given all for me)
나의 모든 것을 주님께 드립니다 (To be transformed into the perfect image of love)" - Sidewalk Prophets - Keep Making Me
"Make me broken so I can be healed
'Cause I'm so calloused, now I can't feel
I wanna run to You with heart wide open
Make me broken
Make me empty so I can be filled
'Cause I'm still holding onto my will
And I'm completed when You're with me
Make me empty
...
Make me lonely so I can be Yours
'Til I want no one more than You, Lord
'Cause in the darkness I know You will hold me
Make me lonely" - Meredith Andrews - Not For A Moment
"After all, You are constant
After all, You are only good
After all, You are sovereign
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Not for a moment will You forsake me" - Tenth Avenue North - The Struggle
"Hallelujah, we are free to struggle
We're not struggling to be free
Your blood bought and makes us children
Children, drop your chains and sing!" - Matt Redman - 10,000 Reasons
"Whatever may pass, whatever lies before me
Let me be singing 'til the evening comes" - Kristy Nockels - My Heart, Your Home
"Come and make my heart Your home
Come and be everything I am and all I know
Search me through and through
'Til my heart becomes a home for You" - Scott Brenner - The Father's Song
"I have heard so many songs
Listened to a thousand tongues
but there is one that sounds above them all
The Father's song, the Father's love
You sung it over me
and for eternity it's written on my heart
Heaven's perfect melody
The Creator's symphony
You are singing over me
the Father's song
Heaven's perfect mystery
The King of love has sent for me
and now You're singing over me
the Father's song" - Hillsong United - Stay and Wait
"I will stay should the world by me fold
Lift up Your name as the darkness falls
I will wait and hold fast to Your word
Heart on Your Heart and my eyes on You
...
Who loved me through my rebel way
Who chose to carry all my shame
Who breaths in me with endless life
The king of glory, Jesus Christ" - Hillsong - Like Incense / Sometimes By Step
"Your statutes are my heritage forever
My heart is set on keeping Your decrees
Please still my anxious urge toward rebellion
Let Your love keep my will upon its knees
...
All Your ways are loving and are faithful
The road is narrow but Your burden light
Because You gladly lean to lead the humble
I shall gladly kneel to leave my pride" - Hillsong - Christ is Enough
"I have decided to follow Jesus
No turning back, no turning back
The cross before me, the world behind me
No turning back, no turning back" - Markers Worship 2013 - 그가 다스리는 그의 나라에서 (In His Kingdom where He reigns)
"'하나님 나라는 어떤 곳일까 (What would the Kingdom of God be like?)
아픔과 슬픔이 없는 나라인가요 (Is it a kingdom without any pain or sadness?)
하지만 이 곳은 그렇지 않은 걸 (But this world we're in is not like that)
하나님 나라에 살고 싶어요' (I want to live in the Kingdom of God)
'하나님 나라는 이 곳이란다 (This world we're in is the Kingdom of God)
여전히 아프고 슬픈 일이 있지만 (Even though there are pain and sadness)
행복과 기쁨이 여전히 있는 걸 (We also have happiness and joy)
우리가 하늘과 땅의 통로야' (We are the channels between Heaven and the earth)" - Anointing - 내 영혼은 안전합니다 (My soul is safe)
"주 약속 안에서 내 영혼 편안해 (In God's promise my soul is at peace)
내 뜻보다 크신 주님의 계획 나 신뢰해 (I trust God's plan that's bigger than my own)
두려움 다 내려놓고 주님만 의지해 (I let go all my fears and only trust God)
주 안에서 내 영혼 안전합니다 (In God my soul is safe)" - Anointing - 모든 것 아시는 주님 (God who knows everything)
"모든 것 아시는 주님 (God who knows everything)
내 삶에 펼쳐진 계절도 (Even all the seasons in my life ahead)
임마누엘 함께 늘 동행하시니 (Immanuel, walking with me always)
내 모든 순간 돌보아 주시네 (You care after me every moment)
모든 것 창조하신 주님 (God who created everything)
파도를 잠잠케 하신 주 (You who has calmed the waves)
실수가 없으신 완전한 하나님 (Perfect God who doesn't make any mistakes)
내 모든 순간 풍성케 하시네 (You provide me at every moment of my life)" - Anointing - 주의 보좌로 나아갈 때에 (When I come towards God's throne)
"주의 보좌로 나아갈 때에 어떻게 나아가야 할까 (How should I come towards God's throne?)
나를 구원한 주의 십자가 그것을 믿으며 가네 (I come believing in Jesus' Christ that has saved me)
주의 보좌로 나아갈 때에 나 여전히 부족하나 (Even though I don't deserve to come towards God's throne)
나를 품으신 주의 그 사랑 그것을 믿으며 가네 (I come believing in God's love that has embraced me)
자격없는 내 힘이 아닌 오직 예수님의 보혈로 (Not with my insufficient strength but only through Jesus' blood)
자격없는 내 힘이 아닌 오직 예수님의 보혈로 (Not with my insufficient strength but only through Jesus' blood)
십자가의 보혈, 완전하신 사랑 힘입어 나아갑니다
(I come because of the blood on the Cross, because of God's perfect love)
십자가의 보혈, 완전하신 사랑 힘입어 예배합니다"
(I worship because of the blood on the Cross, because of God's perfect love) - Starfield - Unashamed
"I have not much to offer You, not near what You deserve
But still I come because Your cross has placed in me my worth
Oh Christ, my king of sympathy whose wounds secure my peace
Your grace extends to call me friend, your mercy sets me free
And I know I'm weak
I know I'm unworthy to call upon Your name
But because of Your grace, because of Your mercy
I stand here unashamed"
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